Last Saturday my husband insisted that he needed help with the shopping so  I decided to go with him to super market. My son came as well, we were three persons.

In order to finish fast (shopping is a needed waste of time for me) I separated the shopping list in two notes and we discussed how to buy the things in parallel. My son and my husband took a trolley and I took another one. We met here and then on the main corridor and we checked what we’ve bought and if the other needed help. At the end we paid in parallel in two cash points. We finished in half an hour. Usually super market shopping takes one hour. I was excited with our team work. Everybody was satisfied.

This weekend I wanted to repeat the great team work in super market but even more efficient. While my husband and my son were playing I separated the list in three notes. I thought everyone of us can buy things independently and pay as well. I didn’t mention my plan to them. When we got ready to go I gave one shopping list to each of them. ‘Let’s shop in parallel, I have the third list’ I said. Then the first protest came from my husband. Obviously he didn’t like neither to buy things alone nor to get a plan out of the blue. However, he accepted my plan even if he disagreed. This time we met only once. I took care about the time and I didn’t check what we’ve bought. I trusted our lists. The result was that we forgot to buy several things (not in the list) or we bought twice the same things. Additionally everybody was unhappy and we did 1 hour shopping.

Do you see the parallel with the SCRUM and the waterfall model? In the second story I was the Mr.Superman, doing the perfect planning in advance and commanding the people what they had to do. Totally demotivated team because I took all the initiatives.

In the first weekend we did a kind of daily meetings when we met on the corridor to coordinate how far we are and check who needs help. We felt well because we were a team, we did the things together. In the second the time was important for me and for the shake of efficiency I forgot the being together. It turned out that the shopping in the first weekend with the rough but joint planning was far more efficient and joyful than the shopping in the next weekend with the very well organized planning in advance.

Sorry I forgot, people are important.

Have you read the novel of Jules Verne ‘The mysterious island‘?

Five castaways make their isolated island a civilized area. The engineer Cyrus Smith helps them with his knowledges not only to survive but to live with comfort. The other persons in the group trust him. He gains the role of their physical leader. Do you think that the people accepted him as leader because of his experience? If Cyrus Smith was ignoring their opinion, if he was shouting to them and humiliating them would they accept him as leader?

I have another example from my childhood. My parents grown up in difficult circumstances where the surving was not guaranteed. By the time I was born though they had managed to settle a good life. Nevertheless they paid attention mostly on having enough food, clothes, a nice home and the money that my brother and me needed to study. I’m grateful about that. On the other hand my mom never came to a school feast, my father laughed on me when I said I wanted to learn piano, I didn’t dare to show them my paintings, I had to follow their plans and their decisions. Even if they did take care about me, on their way,  I hardly accepted them as leaders in my life. A stronger role in my life played the authors of several novels and philosophical books.

For us, human beings, surviving is not enough. According to Maslow’s pyramide of needs  we have a set of needs essential for surviving and coping with life. If those needs are fulfilled we can go on and try to excite our mind, to make dreams and make them true, to help other people. That makes us happy.

In the example the ‘Mysterious island’ Cyrus Smith not only knew how to make things important for surviving, like fire, but he discussed with the other persons, they took decisions together, their contribution to everydays life was appreciated and no one was less important than the others. Cyrus Smith cultivated higher values in the team. That’s why he gained the respect of the others and the role of the natural leader in their minds.

Taking care about the people, about their basic needs, is an essential thing. Taking care about autonomy, respect, beauty, thinking together, recognition gives us a leading position in other people’s eyes.